May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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