Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
