Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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