honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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