I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
