There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
