Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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