I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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