I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
