Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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