yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I love you.
Bad choice
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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