So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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