lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
