what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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