Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
