google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
