I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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