I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
sex in a hospital.. check
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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