I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
