We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
