yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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