her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
