i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
