He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
