i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
