East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
