just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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