For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
