there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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