real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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