And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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