FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
