ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
