using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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