i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize