It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
