Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
