Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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