We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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