i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Houston, we have a blender
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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