Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did I show you my penis last night?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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