man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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