Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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