She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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