508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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