he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im six kinds of drunk right now
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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