I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think I am morally bankrupt
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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