Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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