You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
