did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
