GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Panties = found
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
