I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
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if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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