Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
