he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
