Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
