I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize