I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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