Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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