maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
